Like over-permissive parents, gardeners who lack a firm hand are likely to end up with unruly “children.” Gardening can involve tough choices but, as a friend of mine likes to say, sometimes you have to just “pull up your big girl panties” and move on.

Here are some times when it really pays to have courage and firm resolve:

1.Thinning seedlings—you spent money on the seeds, prepared the soil, planted, watered, and generally obsessed over these little darlings and now you’re supposed to pull some out and thro them away? Yes. Crowded seedlings are seedlings that will not thrive and may even die, due to the dreaded “damping off” fungal disease. Thin early and often for healthy plants.

2. Staying ahead of invasives—give them an inch, and they’ll take a mile-a-minute (the nearly literal name for an invasive vine). A single garlic mustard plant, for example, can produce more than 7,000 seeds that remain viable in the soil for up to five years. Learn the invasives and show no mercy. Here is a good reference: http://www.invasive.org/eastern/

3. Getting rid of plants you don’t like—so you have this plant that is doing well, looks OK, and is staying healthy, but you just can’t seem to take a shine to it. Don’t let it take up space! Who’s garden is this, anyway? Yours. You don’t like it, you take it out. If you just can’t bear to simply toss it on the compost pile, offer it to a friend or take it to a plant swap.

4. Weeding—I know, I know. Who has the time? But turn your back for a moment, especially during cool, rainy springs, and things will really get out of hand. Keep track of what you planted and move or remove everything that doesn’t belong. It’s OK to let some self-seeding occur, but just because a plant sets up housekeeping in your garden, doesn’t mean you have to let the freeloader stay.

5. Pruning—Learn which of your shrubs and trees should be routinely pruned. Some are fine on their own but others really do need some maintenance pruning to look their best and stay healthy. Spare the pruners; spoil the plant. Here’s a guide to pruning trees: http://pubs.cas.psu.edu/FreePubs/pdfs/uh099.pdf

6. Pinching/cutting back—Many multi-stem perennials get too tall and spindly unless they are cut back a little in the spring. This can seem cruel, to pinch their little heads off just as they are hitting their stride, but in the long run, you’ll both be happier. Mums and asters, in particular, bloom better and have better form if they are pinched back several times during the growing season. Stop around mid- July.

7. Dead-heading annuals and perennials—When flowers have passed their peak, cut them off (a procedure known as dead-heading). Some gardeners wait until the flower has nearly turned to dust, but by then the plant is saying to itself: I guess it’s time to stop making flowers and start making fruit. If you want the plant to continue to flower, cut off the flowers as they fade. That said, if you want the plants to produce seed (for the birds or for more plants), leave some flowers. Here’s a good reference on perennial maintenance: http://consumerhorticulture.psu.edu/files/pruning%20herbaceous%20perennials.pdf

8. Eliminating weak or diseased plants—your garden should not be a hospice. If you have a plant that has been struggling for some time, take action. If it is diseased, throw it out (not in the compost). If it is just unhappy, you may want to try moving it to another area (look up the preferred conditions—it could be it just needs more sun, less wind, more acidic soil, etc.). Don’t replace an unhealthy plant with the same plant. If it was diseased, the new plant may get infected; if it was unhappy, the same species is unlikely to be any happier.

9. Cleaning up—plants, like teenagers, create waste and don’t pick up after themselves. A certain amount of debris can serve a good purpose (mulch) but too much is unsightly and unhealthy for the plants. Always remove diseased plant material. After the birds have had their chance with seed heads, remove dead plant material in the fall (add to the compost pile) and make sure fallen leaves aren’t smothering desired seedlings. Moss never likes anything on it, so be sure to carefully sweep your mossy areas. (You do have mossy areas, don’t you?)

So, enough reading. Don’t you have better things to do? You march right out into your garden and in your firmest voice call out: “You’re not the boss of me!” Then grab your pruners, kneeling pad, and bucket, and take charge!

Visit the Chester County Master Gardeners at the Delaware Center for Horticulture Private Gems Garden Tour, June 19. They are featuring several Chadds Ford gardens. For more information, call 302-658-6262.

• Nancy Sakaduski is the Chester County Master Gardener Coordinator.  Master Gardeners are trained volunteers who educate the public on gardening and horticultural issues.  In Chester County, they operate through the Penn State Cooperative Extension office in West Chester.  Nancy lives in Pennsbury Township.  She can be reached at nds13@psu.edu.